Knowing

Knowing that I can be in full withdrawal mode 12 hours from now makes me wonder why I continued to make the same destructive decisions everyday for the past two months.  He met him at the EZ Pawn on Eastern.   I was there to trade in a $400 pair of clustered diamond earrings for the cheapest diamond studs set in yellow gold.  Walmart brand, I think.  I was aware I was down grading.  We had the chance before but I guess we weren't ready.  That day we were.  We were curious to see where the dragon would take us.  The high wrapped around by bones like a warm velour blanket.  Drifting into euphoria, my anxious demeanor subsided.  Something new, something brown, to numb my emotions once again so I can deal with the ever-expanding hole I'm digging.